Yesterday the kids and I went to a coffee klatch through our local moms’ group. As the moms were chit-chatting, the kids were running around, playing. Every now and then they would lie down on the floor and get very quiet. We all thought this was lovely because it gave us the occasional few moments of peace and quiet.
Among the kids doing this were my one year-old son, another one-year-old, and several three- and four-year olds. Spearheading the games were two girls, aged 5 and 6.
Toward the end of the gathering, the kids picked Ginger to be the “villain” and the two oldest girls were across the room, yelling “Na-na-na-na-na” at her. This all happened in the course of about 5 seconds, and I was out of my seat as quickly as could be to address the situation. Ginger’s face was red (although she was smiling) so I asked her if she was OK. She said yes and I assumed the red face was from running around like a maniac. Then another mom asked what game they were all playing, and the oldest girl yelled, “DIE!”
In other words, when they had been lying on the floor, they were pretending to be dead. And they were picking “villains” to kill them all.
My kids don’t understand these concepts and needless to say, I wasn’t thrilled with any of this. I also wasn’t pleased with the “na-nas” being directed toward my daughter, although it was fairly clear that it wasn’t intended to be malicious; the older girls were merely imitating something they had seen elsewhere. Nevertheless, this whole escapade was an unwelcome wake-up call. Right under my own nose, my kids were playing something highly age-inappropriate and my daughter was being marginalized, if temporarily, by her friends.
I made clear to everyone in the room that I didn’t like the game and that it was over. Thankfully, the other moms agreed and chimed in after me. But these things are going to happen and I have my tight feeling in my chest just recounting all of this. I was bullied for one year in school as a child, and I am going to make damn sure that my children don’t have to deal with this. They also don’t need to be pretending to die at the ripe ages of 1 and 3.
Going forward, this Mama Bear is going to be paying more attention to what her kids are doing when they play with others.
